Drunk Sober
by Catalytic Angel
Summary: Maria moves to Roswell from New York...please don't read this if you aren't comfortable with sexual violence or swearing and other similar themes. Please Review!
1. Mutual Interests

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...

Author: C.A.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note: beep loads of swearing, physical abuse, rape and loads of angst. This is not everyone's cup of tea but this idea has been annoying me for some time. I was just about to go crazy because every time I read a Maria fic, it would pipe up in this high pitched, squeaky voice. write me, write me...

Author's Note 2: I wrote this a while back and have decided after loads of thought to post it. Originally I wasn't too sure if I should or even if I wanted to, please please please review this!

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Have you ever had one of those days where everything is just wrong? When life is screwing you over and being a major bitch?

You wake up as your alarm clock goes off but instead of getting up, you roll over and go back to sleep. In a just woke up haze you glance at the clock.

You have ten minutes before the school bus arrives.

You stub your toe as you rush around trying to detangle the worst bed hair imaginable. You have to settle for a quick shower and pulling your hair back into a ponytail. Then you realise that all your decent clothes are in the wash and all you have is that faded, paint stained, torn pair of jeans, and a spaghetti strap top that shrunk and changed colour in the wash. You have no choice but to put it on.

You look into the fridge and all that's left is expired milk and moulding pizza. You glance at your watch; the bus is about to arrive. You grab your schoolbag and run out, cursing, when you notice your fuzzy bunny slippers are still on your feet. So you run back into the apartment block, fumbling for your keys and dropping them once or twice before jamming the right key into the keyhole. You burst into the apartment kick off the slippers, grab your shoes and run, remembering to lock the door. However the bus has left and is disappearing into the next street. You have to take public transport to school, missing most of the first period. Yet another black mark to add to your collection.

When you get into school you get a few glares, one of those 'you're nothing but a street whore' looks. You stagger into your maths class, late, drop your maths book and glares are shot in your direction. The old dumb arse who teaches this class coughs and looks meaningfully at an empty seat, before pointing at the board. Unit Quiz. Your mind goes blank before you remember you have a calculus quiz, a calculus quiz that you were supposed to study for instead of getting wasted at that party two nights ago. The quiz you forgotten because you were spewing out your guts the next day. The quiz you abandoned in favour of trying to finish that paper on Othello. You are officially in the shithouse, your grades aren't exactly...well you aren't acing your subjects. Nothing can ruin your day now because it's already hit rock bottom.

Or so you think.

As you trudge out of your maths class thinking about that answer sheet you turned in, your name is blared out on the PA system.

"Maria Tyler to the Principal's office."

Fuck you think to yourself. You walk into the office and lo and behold there's that Josh Jackson a la Skulls lookalike that you got stoned with two nights ago.

"I'm sorry." he mouths as that bitchy secretary waves you in.

Your "Father" is there, looking incredibly pissed off. Then the shit hits the fan. Disembowelment...torture... suspension...expulsion. Blah blah blah. So nice of you to share mutual interests Josh. You endure a twenty minute bus ride in silence. Your father smouldering with anger. You get home.


	2. Violent Violation

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...

Author: C.A

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note: This isn't Maria &Michael nookie. This fic crawled out of the darkest evil reaches of my mind and unless you were okay with Rules of Attraction don't even think about reading this. Rape and all that goes with it start off this fic! Read at your own discretion! That being said please review! Should I continue or take this off the board?

"What were you thinking Maria Tyler?" Jack Tyler shouted as soon as I closed the apartment door. "What possessed you to do drugs? Who gave them to you? Was it that Rath person? Or was it that bitch he's always with...Lonnie?"

"Don't bring my friends into this."

"I'll talk about whoever I want. I'm your father."

"You Jack?"

"Jack?" His voice was incredulous as if he didn't expect this act of rebellion.

"Yes Jack," my tone was biting, sarcastic, caustic. I was fed up with this charade. He had no right to do this not when..."You're what!? My father? Bullshit, since when have you given a damn about me?"

"Watch your language. I feed you, I clothe you, I have taken care of you for the past ten years."

"Some father you are, you don't even know how I lead my life. Do you know anything about me at all? I don't think these clothes or moulding pizza qualifies as taking care of me."

"I can't believe you. I could have put you in a home. That way I wouldn't lose a day off work because you decided to do something stupid. I wouldn't have to bother with your trite problems. This is something I'd expect from Amy..."

"I'd rather be like her than you and I rather be in a home than this dump." I said immediately.

"Don't disrespect me girl."

"Respect? What about the respect you owed my mom or your string of girlfriends. What about me?"

"I give you the respect you deserve, which at this point isn't alot."

Have you ever reached this point where you were so...that all you could do was scream. Imagine swallowing that urge for ten years. Now, let it all go.

"So, is that what you tell the women you screw and ditch the day after? The sluts you employ to fill that gaping hole my mom left when she walked, when she couldn't take your abuse." I got right in his face.

"What are you talking about?" dear old dad had gone chalk white, blood draining from his face.

"I know! You don't think I've always known that you're the nightmare women avoid? That you beat my mom. That you beat those prostitutes you're with so that their petite bodies bruise and that's what turns you on. You're disgusting." I screamed. He slapped me. Hard. I felt my teeth bite into my tongue. I spit out blood and something possessed me. I flew at him, punching and kicking every part of him I could reach. He tried to stop me, grabbing my wrists so painfully I gasped sharply. He pushed me against the wall pressing into me as he raised my arms above my head. My breasts were pressed against him and he paused. I tried to knee him but he clenched his hand into a fist and slammed it into my jaw. I could feel the blood trickling down my chin.

I should have seen this coming but I didn't. He didn't stop undoing my jeans when I screamed, when I kicked him. He responded by punching me in the stomach until I was limp; quietly whimpering, pleading no, begging him to stop.

He had a glazed look in his eyes as he flipped me around, his hand were still pinning my hands to the wall. My left cheek was pressed into the raised wallpaper. I could hear the clink of his belt and a metallic grating sound as he undid his zipper. We...He ended up pushing me down on the floor slamming into me as he ripped my shirt off. He tore more than a shirt though.

There are days where everything that could go wrong goes wrong. When your fragile world already precariously close to collapsing, is destroyed.

This is one of those days. But the thing is, these days never end.


	3. Aftermath

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...look! a talking potato

Author: Desert Angel.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note: Thanks to REDJEWEL2662 for reviewing :) This chapter is for you!!

beep loads of swearing, drug and physical abuse, rape and loads of angst. This is not everyone's cup of tea but this idea has been annoying me for some time. I was just about to go crazy because every time I read a Maria fic, it would pipe up in this high pitched, squeaky voice. write me, write me... I'm not gonna attempt to mimic the NYC street lingo, cause there's no way it'll be anything close to what it's supposed to be but imagine they're talking with a NYC accent.

* * *

I must have passed out because I woke up and someone had their hand in me. My eyes weren't fully opened but I started screaming, high pitched raw screams. The hand disappeared and I clamped my legs shut. The next thing I knew someone was touching me. I instantly tried to jerk away I was unaware of the aches and pains. The arms tightened around me.

Vaguely I heard a woman's voice repeating "Maria?! You're okay. It's okay. You're in a hospital. You're safe." I was shaking, delayed nerves I guess. My screams had died down into whimpers. I felt so pathetic, my face felt puffed up and raw I could see blood on the floor and on my legs. My breaths were shallow and harsh as I pushed the woman away.

My lip cracked and my voice was hoarse as I apologised.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" I gestured and gasped sharply as I saw the cast.

"You broke your hand, and don't apologise."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Dr Lucy Cartwright, I'm a resident here at the Mater hospital, you're in the ER.

I was examining you just now."

"Hospital?" I shuddered spasmodically.

"Yes, you were brought in by..." she paused and coughed. "You were found in your apartment. Apart from your hand, you have a concussion from head trauma, three broken ribs and your face, torso and legs have severe bruising. There's no internal bleeding which is a miracle but you are going to be pretty sore for a while." At this point all I felt was…I was hearing the words through water.

She seemed to hesitate before saying. "I also found vaginal bleeding and tearing just now... and we're going to need a stool sample. I'm going to have to continue my examination if that's alright with you."

"I don't…"

"I need to make sure you're okay." Again she hesitated, "the police have been informed. You will need to give them a statement but it's up to you to press charges."

My breathing quickened and I stared at her as I whispered, "what?"

"There's evidence to suggest that you had non consensual intercourse, the police have been informed of the rape-"

"Rape?!"

"Do you remember what happened?"

Did I remember what happened? Did I remember the moment when he decided that it would be okay to- I suppose it's the ultimate form of self gratification. I've been told all my life that I look like him.

I didn't know how to answer should I tell her that he left me naked and bleeding on the floor. He went to look for some other slut to screw.

Do I sound bitter? Would you be? Would you want to see him bleed? Would you want to be the one standing over him with a knife? Wouldn't you want to be the one to see the bastard break?

My name is Maria Tyler, I'm 16 and my father raped me. God, it sounds like a plot from Springer.

At that moment there was a commotion outside. I heard the harsh abrasive tones of a man.

I thought it was Jack. I thought he could smell it. My fear, my lust, my anger I don't know. I should have seen this coming and since I didn't stop it I must have wanted it. Is my logic flawed? Didn't think so.

But it wasn't him.

He didn't have that broad New Yorkian accent.

The door swung open. I felt my heart beat speed up, I started breathing heavier.

Jack didn't have a head of blue hair or piercings.

But it didn't make a difference. I panicked I started to scream again. I was so scared all I could do was scream I couldn't stop either. I closed my eyes, but I could feel him there. Zan wasn't a threat but I didn't care, I couldn't. I scrambled back against the head board.

I felt dizzy, I opened my eyes and there seemed to be two of everything. Then it all went black.


	4. Alien

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...isn't my unicorn pretty?!

Author: D.A.

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

**Author's note: Please forgive my long extended hiatus from the land of Roswell fanfic. I hope that the tone of this fic hasn't changed too much, RL can be a bitch. This is for Emz who reviewed and kicked me into action. Thank you for reviving me. I hope this lives up to your expectations. Also this one and the next chapter coming later this week is a flashback.**

**Also sorry this took longer than anticipated. Please review and tell me your thoughts! Also I don't own the remix of clubbed to death if you don't already know it plays in the woman in the red dress scene in the Matrix full credit to Rob**

**Warning:** this chapter has some descriptive naughty business and the usual beep loads of swearing, drug and physical abuse, rape and loads of angst.

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As I came to, I gasped for breath. My head was raised and something, a gas mask, was placed over my nose and mouth. My breathing eased as I opened my eyes fully and saw them crowded into the back of the room, looking nervous as hell. Nothing has changed they were always uncomfortable in institutions.

People say that you can tell alot by the appearance of a person. I should have known better. I found Ava and Zan first; I was drunk that night, stumbling around in Central Park.

I was sitting down in a clearing off the main path, nursing a bottle of Absolut. I heard laughter and rustling noises as someone, well, two someone's pushed their way into my clearing. At that point, I was ready to tell them to piss off. I was after all wallowing in alcohol induced self pity.

Then I saw them.

They were carrying bags of something which they tossed carelessly to the side. They were kissing, or rather inhaling each other. They could have been random fuck buddies from opposing businesses, she had on a suit that I swear was in the window display of Prada. I felt a flash of jealousy, she didn't look that much older than me.

Zan. I would have done anything to be Ava that night. Zan was beyond smoking hot, he was on fire. Of course it could have been my drunken state or the fact that I watched what he did to her.

It's that strange thing that happens when you see a car crash or an explosion or someone kissing in the street. That whole I should not look but I really want to I'll just sneak a quick peek thing. I knew I should have walked away but instead I watched as hands trailed up and down. I watched as mouths and tongues followed hands.

I was shocked at how familiar they were with each other, how willing Ava was to spread her legs for him. I felt my heart quicken at the look of wonder on his face.

I wondered how it felt when Zan slowly pushed into her. I had to look away, they were so still, staring at each other, then moving slowly to kiss. There was none of the franticness that had sucked me into watching. Instead there was a beauty to their movements. I could feel myself getting wet and my hand hovered over my crotch.

I should have walked away but instead I stayed and watched as his hand cupped her face and he said to her,

"Time to change back Ava, you look unnatural in those threads". Her long brown curls were sucked back into her skull. Her hair straightened and slowly changed to a blond almost white colour. She had several piercings reappear and on her body he traced a strange symbol near her...well...you know...it.

I sobered almost instantly, and I must have gasped. Ava looked curiously around and she would have said something had Zan not lowered his mouth to her.

I remained frozen for awhile, oblivious, my peeping tom moment forgotten. I stared at my citrus flavoured vodka and promptly poured it out onto the soil, for all I cared the ants could get pissed.

Ava's groans broke my mood and I involuntarily looked up. She was perched on top of him grinding down, her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly open. As I turned away a flash of white light blinded me. I blinked rapidly several time through the black spots I saw the girl; Ava trailing her hands over Zan leaving rainbow swirls where her hands touched him.

I closed my eyes; my heart was racing, pounding so hard I had to press my ice cold hands against my chest to keep my heart in. I almost couldn't breathe. I took a swig from my bottle of Absolut absentmindedly forgetting that I had emptied it.

I suddenly realised that I needed to get away. I quietly backed out of the clearing and moved slowly through the trees.

As I walked back through the streets, I started to doubt what I saw. After all, what person could do that? I stopped short, realising that the key word was what person could do whatever it was that I didn't see.

A man jolted into me. I tried not to stare as I apologised and moved away from the center of the street. Punk... no, not like stupid street kid setting fire to my letterbox, but full on spiked hair, leather, don't mess with me attitude. Then, I did a double take as I recognised the tattoo. Shit. I blanched and walked faster.

As I rounded a corner another person with short blonde hair and a lip ring ran straight into me and dropped her briefcase.

'Fuck, sorry I'm so clumsy' She had grabbed me by the arm as I stumbled.

'No, it's alright. My fault.' I bent over to pick up her briefcase getting there seconds before her and hefted it up, the weight surprising me. She all but snatched it out of my hand and apologising again rushed off.

I idly scratched my arm as I briskly walked off. Two hours and five switches later I walked to my front door I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being followed, hence, the paranoid random bus switching. I scratched my stomach as I reached into my bag. I was too tired to care about what I couldn't see.

I moved quietly through the apartment, a dim light glowed from the crack of Jack's bedroom. I trudged into my own room scratching the back of my neck as I shut the door. I peeled off my jacket and threw it on the floor. Goosebumps rose on my skin even though it was not cold. I rubbed my arms and scratched as an itch developed on both my arms. I sat down to scratch the sole of my left foot. What was wrong with me? I examined my skin only seeing the redness from my scratching. Feeling flushed I walked to the window, pulled the blinds up and opened the window through the bars.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching me and I strode to my stereo putting on the Matrix album I skipped ahead to my favourite song '_Clubbed to Death'_ mildly distracted I let my body sway in time to the music, losing myself to the rhythms and punctuations of the song languidly scratching my lower back. I opened my eyes as the last piano solo came on and grabbed my pyjamas. I slipped into the bathroom feeling calmer. I got ready for bed quickly, taking comfort in my routine.

I went back to my room after getting a glass of water. I sat on my bed to brush my hair taking the opportunity to scratch my head.

'I think she needs a cure for her itch Rath'. A hand covered my mouth.

My heart pounded so hard I thought it would jump out. I jerked my arm up to break the hold but a green glow locked my arms in place.

A million thoughts rushed through my head, but the only one I could distinguish: I was going to die before prom. Shit.


	5. Broken

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...look! a talking potato

Author: C. Angel.

Rating: M

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note:

I have not one but two updates for you guys! so here's the first one and I'll post the second a lil' later. Hope you enjoy PLEASE review coz it makes my day :)

My usual warning: beep loads of swearing, drug and physical abuse, rape and loads of angst. This is not everyone's cup of tea but this idea has been annoying me for some time. I was just about to go crazy because every time I read a Maria fic, it would pipe up in this high pitched, squeaky voice. write me, write me... I'm not gonna attempt to mimic the NYC street lingo, cause there's no way it'll be anything close to what it's supposed to be but imagine they're talking with a NYC accent.

* * *

Needless to say, I didn't die. Instead the little glowing aliens and I came to arrangement. They needed a human dummy for their transactions and I got a new way of life. It was a rush, knowing them.

I don't know why they didn't just get rid of me for figuring out their secret but for some obscure reason I was different. I think they saw me as some weird human pet. After a while I began to think...hope that they kept me around for a different reason.

In a city of millions it isn't difficult to go unnoticed. They did what they wanted and they had this cavalier attitude. They had the 'I am alien here me roar' thing going on. At times I thought that they wanted to get caught, like only then would they finally be real. They scare me shitless. I never for an instant forgot that they weren't human and Lonnie and Rath especially weren't interested in blending with the crowd.

I looked at Lonnie as Ava made nice with the nurse. Ava was always the most grounded of the four. I could see why she was queen. Rath and Zan were nowhere to be seen. Lonnie slinked into the room and sat gingerly on the side of the bed. I pulled off the mask and croaked,

'I'm not gonna break Lonnie'

'I know...' an awkward silence ensued, Lonnie played with the stray threads on the edge of the sheet. It was strange seeing her do something so innocuous. Ava came up beside me. She held my hand wordlessly, breathing steadily as her eyes turned black.

'Lon, I'm warping' Lonnie flashed a grin at Ava then with a serious, intent expression on her face she said in a low voice.

'Ria, do you want him dead?'

My mind went blank, I turned away from her. Did I want him dead?

Ava whispered, her voice steady 'I want him to hurt for what he did to you. We want him dead. We want him to know what it's like to bleed'.

Lonnie chimed in, 'Zan didn't have the juice to heal you fully. The motherfucker left you to die'.

'What?'

Ava flashed an annoyed look at Lonnie 'Rath and I found you in the apartment yesterday morning. You were unconscious and you were...' she breathed harshly her lips pressed thin and tilted in a snarl. 'We got Zan as soon as we could but by the time he got to us...You had stopped breathing a couple of times'.

I shivered and felt the tears build up. My stomach churned and I got a sour taste in my mouth. I had to know.

'What did he do to me?' Lonnie and Ava shared a look.

Lonnie eyed me cautiously and said flatly, 'don't ask'

'I need to know Lonnie. I don't remember this...I don't remember Ava'

Ava shook her head 'Maria...' a pleading note had entered her voice.

My voice low I said 'Ava, I blacked out. I don't know what happened. I have a gap in my life where he fucked his own daughter and I don't know what he did.'

I knew that this more than anything would make her crack. I knew that if she could she would want to know about the gaps in her life...well, past life. I knew that she knew how much it would kill (ironic that) me, because if the situation were reversed, she wouldn't want to be in the dark. I didn't know why I needed to know this though; I guess there's a reason curiosity killed the cat.

Ava whispered, 'there was so much blood, your heart was failing. The broken rib had punctured your blood vessel from your heart. You were turning blue. Rath managed to prevent brain damage but your spleen was wreaked and he had...I can't...' She looked at Lonnie who took a deep breath and continued.

'There was damage, Zan wasn't sure if you would be able to have kids. They healed what they could and we had to call for an ambulance'

I took a deep breath and whispered brokenly, 'stop please.'

I didn't know what to do, what to think. If a father beat his own daughter and fucked her for pleasure, what did that say about the world? I was avoiding the thought that I didn't want to do anything about it.

I wondered then if Zan and Rath had fucked me while I was unconscious. I don't know what I was thinking, the world had turned upside down and now I had nothing. I would never be clean again. I hated my own skin. After all, what sort of person allows herself to be fucked by her own father.


	6. Roswell

Disclaimer: I own Roswell...I also own flying pigs...look! a talking potato

Author: C. Angel.

Rating: M

Pairing: M&M

Summary: Spoilers, everything up to the Dupes episode has happened without Maria. Amy left New York City for Roswell and left Maria with her Dad. Things happen and Maria goes to Roswell, more havoc ensues.

Author's note:

Another long absence, I've been o/s on holiday back to the daily grind of work again and luckily refreshed and on writing fire! PLEASE review coz it makes my day :)

My usual warning: beep loads of swearing, drug and physical abuse, rape and loads of angst.

* * *

I placed a cigarette in my mouth and brought up my lighter, I was perched on the window sill one leg dangling off the side. The past few months passed in a blur. I healed slowly but was released from hospital into a home after two weeks. Then Amy came. God, that sounded so messianic. She was just a woman I no longer recognised, bustling around pretending to fucking care, when really, she no longer knew anything about me or how I had to live. Almost but not quite as bad as the psychobabblist they made me go to. I was fine. But obviously I couldn't be. I fingered my right arm worrying the freshly scabbed cut, letting the sting clear my head. I was fine. Hearing voices, a voice, was normal.

_*You worthless slut*_

Everything that I did was a mistake.

*_Oh yeah you want this_*

I was losing control. I dropped the lighter.

_*Take it you whore*_

The memories were consuming me. I didn't want to be the one. I didn't want it to end like this. I swiped my face angrily. In the end it didn't matter. Was my father a bad man? if he was, what did that make me?

A snore sounded cutting through the silence, I started, then abruptly felt lighthearted as I thought irreverently that I was lucky I wasn't Amy. Jim was as loud as a foghorn.

Amy somehow argued the judge into letting me go to Roswell with her until the trial. She persuasively argued that New York had too many memories and that I nedded a clean break. But being in this small dusty town was strange. I wasn't used to being able to breathe air that wasn't heavy with the cloying smell of curry, fried chicken and random guy piss. I wasn't used to the silence, the tedium of suburbia. I found myself dwelling on things that...of course after a total of two days I was the expert. I bent to pick up the lighter and I was about to light up when I saw a figure steal across the dark lawn.

Kyle, he was so busted.

I grinned, finally, some action, some excitement in this boring dusty town. I swung my other leg over and hopped down. I ran after him almost missing him as he turned right onto another street. I lit my cigarette and took a deep breath in. I saw him start and turn around.

"Fuck'

'Tut tut Kyle I don't thing Jim tolerates that kind of language.'

'Maria' he sighed heavily and continued,

'Why are you following me? What are you doing?'

'I think the pertinent question is where are you going so late at night?' I stared at his implacable face for a moment before continuing,

'I knew you weren't as squeaky clean as you come off. So, what's your poison Kyle?"

Aggressively he retorted, 'Go away Maria, I don't want to deal with you'

'Tough luck Bro' I stressed the last word as I took another drag of my cigarette.

'After all families have to stick together, and I know you're a pro at playing happy families' I saw Kyle move closer to me, he took the cigarette out of my mouth and slightly awkwardly took a drag.

"I'm impressed, you've done this before.'

'Whatever.'

'So you've been avoiding the question, where are you going this late? Wait, don't tell me! A secret rendezvous with some young blonde impressionable ditz whose only aim in life is to spread those legs for the 'football captain'

He dropped the cigarette and stubbed it out. Blowing the smoke into my face, he said, 'You think being a bitch will get you anywhere?'

'I know being a bitch gets me what I want'

'Could you please just leave me alone...'

'Resorting to pleading now are we?'

'Well, obviously asking you to show common human decency won't ever work.'

'Ouch that stung, I'm offended. Do you talk dirty to all your conquests' I grinned at him.

He gestured violently and as he moved towards me he scowled and I freaked out. I suddenly saw Jack's leer as he hit me the first time. I felt tears spill across my face and I struggled to breathe. My hands shaking, I sank slowly to the ground.

'Shit...Maria it's al...I...Shit' Kyle looked panicked but I was beyond caring. I sank to the ground trying to breathe. He made to move towards me. I thrust out a hand,

'Don't...Please...'

Then, a voice echoed from the background.

'Kyle?!' a girl walked down the street. As she saw me she gasped, 'what's...'

I managed to get my breathing under some semblance of control. I felt my heart clench as I realised that strangers had again invaded.

'I'm going back to the house'. Ignoring their protests and offers of help I determinedly walked off. Making it back to the room I climbed in, my arms barely supporting my weight. I sank onto the floor and curled up underneath the window.


	7. Abnormal Normal

**As per usual I don't own Roswell, this is a candy fic, and everything up to Dupes episode has happened without Maria, and this chapter has mild swearing/inappropriate language.**

**Note: Here are some cupcakes for the lovely ppl who have been adding my story to their faves or story alerts. You keep me writing! In particular, thanks muchly to Emza who reviewed and kicked my arse into gear.**

**I've been on a break from fan fic and turned my hand to other things. RL is just stupid sometimes. ****Hopefully this meets everyone's expectations,I've been abit stuck on this story and I rewrote this so many times it's ridiculous. I had just abit of trouble writing this right. It was a looong chapter so I'll be posting it in two separate chapters.**

* * *

I jerked awake, cold, my heart was pounding and my hands were trembling as I wiped the sweat from my forehead. Apparently dreams now came complete with real life techno-coloured smell and taste. I gagged and sour bile rose up my throat. The taste was enough to set me off; I staggered to the bathroom and collapsed before the toilet bowl, flipping up the lid to throw up.

It was almost like I had drunk too much and the urge to vomit was unstoppable and seemingly unceasing. My throat was raw before I stopped. I couldn't keep going like this. Shit...When did I become so melodramatic?

I turned on the tap and put in the plug. Dunking my head into the warm water I quickly scrubbed my face, wincing as the water stung my lip. I contemplated the soap for a moment before dismissing it and pulling out the plug. I wiped my face dry, meticulously arranging the towel back on the rack before weaving my way into my new room. I switched on the lamp and surveyed the room; my gaze took in the blank yellow walls, the shelf of essential oils and the pink bed sheets. A battered guitar case peeked out from under the metal frame of the bed.

It was all so normal.

I pulled out the guitar case ignoring the pristine blue acoustic, I pulled away the lining and pulled out my pack of Marlborough's.

I made my way to the window sill and flicked open the lighter. I perched carefully on the narrow ledge, I rubbed my neck gingerly, I really had to rethink the awkward sleeping positions. As I sat there, the sky lightened to azure blue, I couldn't stop thinking. One moment life was normal, usual, now? It was just so new, I apparently had a family, a normal family. One who joked with each other, who had fun together, who argued and made up. A family that didn't have a dad who drank, fucked and beat women, that didn't have me in it. I jumped slightly as a van growled past and the distinct thunk of a newspaper hit the porch. Unnoticed, my cigarette had burnt all the way down, I threw it into the bushes and lit another. What was I hoping for here? A life? I shook my head I should have stayed in New York.

Now I had another day in paradise. How long before reality hits again?

An alarm clock went off in the next room. Jim's snore abruptly cut off, after a moment the floorboard creaked and I heard him shuffle past. I stubbed out the cigarette on the underside of the windowsill, drawing my hand quickly away as the glowing embers landed on my palm. I hopped off the ledge and walked over to the built in wardrobe, I pulled out a pair of shorts and a tank top and got distracted by my image in the mirror. I slowly pulled off my shirt and fumbled with the button on my jeans. I stared at my reflection, dwelling on the bandages and bruises. I lashed out, hitting the mirror with my unbroken hand.

As the blood welled on my knuckle I sank down onto the floor, unbidden, tears welled in my eyes. I swiped them away and took a deep breath. I was so tired of crying. I shut my eyes and rested my head gingerly against the cracked glass, breathing deeply, willing myself to stop crying.

After an interminable moment, a knock sounded at my door.

"Maria?"

My eyes opened, panicked I jerked to my feet and raced to my bedside table, I pulled a wad of tissue from the box. I rubbed frantically at the blood on my knuckles, biting my lip against the pain. Pulling on the tank and the shorts, I kicked the wardrobe door closed.

Another knock sounded,

"Maria, are you okay?"

"Ye..." My voice was croaky from disuse. I coughed and tried again,

"I'm fine"

I threw the tissue into the bin, giving it up as a lost cause. I tucked my hand behind the door as I pulled it open.

Kyle stood there, anger flared to life inside me, I harshly demanded,

"What do you want?" He looked at the ground avoiding my face.

"I'm sorry about last night, I didn't mean to..." I pulled the door open further and bitterly shot back.

"To what? Harass the poor slut who took it from her dad?" I had no idea why I said that.

Shocked, Kyle jerked back and looked at me.

"No! I didn't-"

"Whatever". Embarrassed, I made to shut the door, but Kyle reached out a hand and said,

"Wait, I just...look, I...all I'm trying to say is; if I offended you or made it seem like I was going to hurt you. I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention. I wasn't expecting this, for you to come here, Mom never mentions you and I don't really know what to do around you" he ran a hand through his hair. A stab of resentment and betrayal shot through me, Mom?! I shook myself mentally chastising myself, it wasn't like she was your mother anymore.

He must have realised something bothered me because he amended his statement,

"Amy just got a call and next thing I know you're here and it's just changed everything"

I wasn't sure what to say to him. For a moment we stood in silence, a truce of sorts. Kyle ran his hand through his hair again and said,

"Anyway, Amy wants you to get ready...family breakfast". How ironic.


End file.
